Joyful Glimmer

Homeschooling during covid: 

Here are 6 tips for homeschooling during distance learning:

1. If your offspring start complaining, just start talking about typewriters... "well when I was young I didn't have a computer. I had a typewr….. " they will leave you alone really quick!

2. When the teacher emails you, 'did junior get that assignment...' say "New Phone who dis?"

3. If your kid will not get out of bed and you can't wake him/her up, grab the chainsaw! Walk in their room and vrrooom…… works every time.

4. Did you forget how to do {insert grade level math here}? Download photomath. It's an app that solves math problems. Honey, we are not paid enough! Am I smarter than a tenth grader? No. No I am not.

5. Lunchtime! This is the school subject I am good at! I don't care if we are all going to die of COVID. (well I sort of do actually)… but I can successfully make a PB&J and hey... you can now feed your kids WHEAT bread (tire screech sound effect) because you can realistically say, "I'm sorry honey, there is a pandemic and the stores are totally out of white bread." Mom Of The Year award.

6. Boxed wine. Can't get your kid to submit assignments? Boxed wine.     Don't know if they will flunk their class? Boxed wine.    The teachers think you are a terrible parent because your kid is behind? Boxed wine.

Good luck everyone! Remember not all superheroes wear capes. Many superheroes walk among us and are TEACHERS and they deserve thoughtful Christmas gifts and comfortable slippers and all kinds of nice things that I hope are still on the shelves during a pandemic. Like soft toilet paper,  hand sanitizer,    boxed wine.    Sorry I bought a ton of boxed wine, I hope you can still buy a box for yourself.

#NotSorry

Good luck home distance learning parents!