My anti-bucket list: 10 Things I never want to do before I die

1. Get bit by a spider and get really freaky abilities

2. Wake up to rats in my hair that are tangled and can't get out

3. Go on a cruise. It used to sound good but not anymore... Sorry cruise industry. #corona

4.  Can my own food. My degree is in food science but I'm afraid of messing it up and getting botulism.

5. Get a tattoo. I really hate needles so even though I have thought about it, I just can't. I have to calm myself down before shots and blood draws.

6. Walk on those glass bridges over a very deep place like the Grand Canyon really would freak me out

7. Get a pet snake. I just don't like snakes.

8. Fly in a rocket. No thanks. I enjoy the Earth too much I guess.

9.  Anything involving sharks or other creatures that might eat me

10. Sky diving or bungee jumping. I prefer activities where I am not facing death in the face. Those sound more scary than fun.

What do you never want to do?

What's different, what's the same during shelter at home

So as we know this is unprecedented times and things feel different because we are sheltering in place. A lot is different but some things are the same. Around here, this is my list of same stuff and different stuff. I'm not including the universal stuff like wearing masks, not going out to eat, etc.

Different: #1. I used to only drink 2 cups of coffee a day. I'm up to 3-4 now. It's a comforting ritual. And I stocked up!!

Same #1. Alcohol consumption = same. I mean I get it that people are home and bored but moderation is important. If we all come out of this as raging alcoholics, the virus won and we are losers.

Different #2. Buying groceries in a huge trip instead of every day. Now I have to think for a long time to make my list. The boys inevitably say, "I thought you were going 15 minutes ago." And I say, "I am still working on my list."

Same #2. I am home normally anyway because I am not working. So my basic routine is the same.

Different #3. Usually I am alone but now the boys are here and husband works from home 2 days a week. So I have more company.

Same #3. Every day I get dressed. Getting dressed makes me feel normal.

Different #4. I am normally a news junkie but I don't have it on because I don't want the kids to have anxiety from all the bad stuff they are reporting. I'm down to an hour a day or less.

Same #4. Exercise. Well unless its too cold out. Hee hee. I'm a wuss. But I try to exercise every other day.

Different #5. My hair is coming back in my natural color. Haven't seen it since I was 14. Interesting to see what it will look like. I don't mind waiting to get my hair done because I am social distancing to flatten the curve.

Same #5. There is still hope. We can't lose hope. Things will get better. It will take time staying home to prevent the spread.

9 Things I Just Can't Handle

Do you have something you just can't handle at all? Here are mine (in no particular order):

1. Black pepper

2. Really bad 70s elevator music

3. When restaurants put brussel sprouts / beets on your plate but it wasn't listed on the menu for your entree

4. Violent movies

5. Katy Perry

6. Bleu cheese

7. Jar Jar Binks

8. Gollem in Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit

9. Walking in bare feet on asphalt or cement

My crazy quarantine food I invented

So this is literally something I love that I invented on accident:

Are you ready? sesame seeds toasted in bacon grease. Crazy, right?

Here's how it happened:

Nicholas is home from UW and he has a certain way of making bacon. He seasons it, cuts off the parts he doesn't like, and cooks it in olive oil. It's quite good. He gives me the parts he cuts off and I cook them in a little tiny pan.

I decided to try my own "seasoning" so I put sesame seeds on my bacon. But they didn't stick. So they mostly fell off into the bacon grease. By the time the bacon was done, the sesame seeds were brown.

I took out the bacon to a paper towel then put the sesame seeds on the paper towel too. And tasted them. I was like, Holy Shit I just made something really good!

You can put these on any food. I put them in my tofu cheese soup. I know you're thinking, what the hell is tofu cheese soup?!?

Here is the recipe:
8 oz chicken broth or bouillon broth
1 slice American cheese
3 oz cubed extra firm tofu
minced onion

Melt the cheese completely in the broth and stir. You may need to microwave to get it to melt. Add the tofu. You may need to microwave again to get it warm. Add the minced onion. Then add the sesame seeds toasted in bacon grease. Just a small spoonful.

Its a delicious low carb, low calorie lunch.

Homeschooling during covid: 

Here are 6 tips for homeschooling during distance learning:

1. If your offspring start complaining, just start talking about typewriters... "well when I was young I didn't have a computer. I had a typewr….. " they will leave you alone really quick!

2. When the teacher emails you, 'did junior get that assignment...' say "New Phone who dis?"

3. If your kid will not get out of bed and you can't wake him/her up, grab the chainsaw! Walk in their room and vrrooom…… works every time.

4. Did you forget how to do {insert grade level math here}? Download photomath. It's an app that solves math problems. Honey, we are not paid enough! Am I smarter than a tenth grader? No. No I am not.

5. Lunchtime! This is the school subject I am good at! I don't care if we are all going to die of COVID. (well I sort of do actually)… but I can successfully make a PB&J and hey... you can now feed your kids WHEAT bread (tire screech sound effect) because you can realistically say, "I'm sorry honey, there is a pandemic and the stores are totally out of white bread." Mom Of The Year award.

6. Boxed wine. Can't get your kid to submit assignments? Boxed wine.     Don't know if they will flunk their class? Boxed wine.    The teachers think you are a terrible parent because your kid is behind? Boxed wine.

Good luck everyone! Remember not all superheroes wear capes. Many superheroes walk among us and are TEACHERS and they deserve thoughtful Christmas gifts and comfortable slippers and all kinds of nice things that I hope are still on the shelves during a pandemic. Like soft toilet paper,  hand sanitizer,    boxed wine.    Sorry I bought a ton of boxed wine, I hope you can still buy a box for yourself.

#NotSorry

Good luck home distance learning parents!

12 ways to make small changes to eat healthier:

I have seen a lot of posts from people who are eating like crazy during the shelter in place time. I totally get it. I'm on a super sucky diet right now and I'm trying to eat healthy. Here are a few things I do:

1. Egg beaters!!! These things are AWESOME! There is no cholesterol and each "egg" portion has only 25 calories. Most mornings I eat an Egg beaters (Kroger brand) "omelet". 1 egg equivalent portion or 2, its just 50 calories or less. Then I throw in 1 tablespoon of shredded cheddar or parmesan cheese and some sesame seeds. It's a delicious little breakfast for under 100 calories.

2. Flax. Oh man this is like so freaking healthy. I grind mine up in the coffee grinder. I store them in a Ziploc bag in the fridge and I throw them in everything. They are super healthy for you!! Lots of healthy fats as well as vitamins and minerals.

3. Oat flour. There is a flour shortage so to extend my flour supply I use oat flour in lots of recipes. You just grind quick oats in a coffee grinder. Use them in recipes asking for flour, but also anything else like meatloaf, sauces, French toast. They lower your cholesterol and have other health benefits too.

4. Sesame seeds are THE BOMB!! nuff said.

5. Skim milk. Oh honey its just so healthy. No saturated fat or cholesterol.

6. No sugar in the coffee. Sad face. Sad face. I know... sugar in coffee is so good but this is one way to reduce your sugar consumption.

7. Sugar free spaghetti sauce. This is a thing now so why not!? I add chopped garlic because it lowers your cholesterol.

8. I switched from beer to wine because there is less carbs. This is probably bad nutritional advice but there it is.

9. I try not to eat carbs for breakfast and dinner. I know. ...sad face.... I love carbs but since I cut back and started exercising I have lost weight.

10. A very depressing but healthy snack is plain (I know it sucks) Greek yogurt with 1 teaspoon of honey or some chopped almonds. Sorry. It sucks but there is hardly any added sugar.

11. Almonds. Every day I eat 4 almonds and 1 Brazil nut. Almonds lower your blood sugar. 1 Brazil nut has 100% of your day's supply of selenium and chromium. These are essential nutrients and your body uses chromium to regulate blood sugar. It's a easy way to get lots of nutrition just don't eat like a big pile of them because they have a bunch of calories.

12. Bryers carb smart fudge bars are really good and only 60 calories. I love these suckers!

Thanks for reading my list. I am kind of weird about stuff I eat but I hope this helps if you want to make tiny changes.

Surviving a quarantine when you can't see the horizon:

Or how to stay sane ...

This year I started going to the gym and I started listening to podcasts while I was there. Wow. It was like a new world opened up. Now I am not going to the gym, but I still listen to podcasts.

They really do keep my mind busy. I enjoy them when I am jogging and when I am sewing. My favorites are: Hysterical History, Paranormal and My Favorite Murder. I listen to them on the app Podcast Player.

Another thing I do is look out the window. I know that is crazy but just seeing people walk by makes me feel like I'm not alone. My sewing machine faces a window and I can see people cycling, jogging, walking with dogs and strollers and stuff.

Sometimes I see this little puppy going on a walk and I see his little short legs and it makes me smile. You can see just from the way he walks that he is happy. 

So if you are sad you can always message me. I would be happy to talk to you. It's okay to say, "this really sucks and I feel alone." I will be an ear to listen.

Quarantine blog day 16 (ish) but who's counting...

Today's topic is mood altering pills.

No not those kind... I'm talking about magnesium. I swear to God this stuff will level you out. Every day I take 500 mg. If you are sad or you cry a lot or feel really horrid, I recommend it. It makes you feel less sad.

Foods that are high in magnesium are: spinach, soy, dark chocolate, seeds, almonds, avocado, brown rice, crab, wheat germ and yogurt.